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T-Boz

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Better Late Than Never... [03 Jul 2009|01:22pm]
So I'm sitting here watching Run's House on MTV. This is the first time I've watched MTV in about a week, and I remembered why. MTV plays a memorial commercial about Micheal and they used one of my all time favorite songs by him. All the sudden it hit me, he's gone. Like as far as I'm concerned Micheal has been gone for a while, but physically, he's really not here anymore. Listening to this song makes my eyes watery. So unexpected but better late than never?

Lighten Up, It's Just Fashion [01 Jul 2009|08:25pm]

SS 2010 )
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OMG I HAVE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD [28 May 2009|12:12pm]
i got in another car accident again. this time i was at fault, in my moms car. i was so scared but when i got in the house i told my mom what happened and she didn't even flinch. i told her that her car was ok and the other persons was to and she was like "ok." now i have to wait till my dad gets home.
to be continued...
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WOW [23 May 2009|11:03pm]
VMAN 14

SASHA FIERCE

SHE’S BARELY OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK, BUT PORN STAR SASHA GREY HAS ALREADY APPEARED IN MORE THAN 150 ADULT MOVIES. NOW SHE’S STARRING IN THE LATEST FROM STEVEN SODERBERGH. A CROSSOVER BID? NOT REALLY—SHE’S JUST DIVERSIFYING HER BRAND

PHOTOGRAPHY FRANCESCO CARROZZINI STYLING DEBORAH AFSHANI TEXT JESSE ASHLOCK


Corset Alexander McQueen Briefs A.F. Vandevorst. On skin, Embryolisse Vitamin Moisturizer

“It is difficult to describe how it feels to gaze at living human beings whom you’ve seen perform in hard-core porn,” wrote the late David Foster Wallace in a 1998 essay about the Adult Video News Awards, informally known as the Oscars of porn. It’s also difficult to describe what it’s like to hear a voice on the telephone which you’ve previously heard making such statements as “I’m a dirty whore” (and worse)—and moreover, to have a pleasant, courteous conversation with that voice. The voice’s owner is Sasha Grey, 21, who has taken the adult industry by storm since her debut three years ago, last year becoming the youngest person to win an Adult Video News award for best female performer of the year. To be clear, she’s a hard-core porn star, performing not only straightforward Jenna Jameson–style scenes, but also considerably more exotic ones, often treating sex as a multiplayer sport. “For me, the more romantic-type scenes are the most challenging,” she says, “because that’s not necessarily the sex that I enjoy the most.” She doesn’t hold anything back.

Grey has also cultivated a reputation as an intellectual porn star, citing Nietzsche, Baudrillard, and Situationism as influences and speaking at colleges like Brandeis and UCLA. That reputation won’t change any with her latest project. She stars in Steven Soderbergh’s new low-budget HD film, The Girlfriend Experience, the spiritual successor to 2005’s Bubble. “I’m a huge fan of his, and I was a fan of Bubble,” she says. “I don’t know what he could have said that would have made me say no.” This isn’t Jameson popping up in Howard Stern’s Private Parts; it’s the lead part in a stylishly executed, structurally ambitious, improv-based film from an Oscar-winning director. Set against the backdrop of the economic crisis, the film follows Chelsea, a high-priced Manhattan call girl, who is pondering ways to “grow her business” while her wealthy clients discuss the economic stimulus package and how to “stimulate their packages.” Like Bubble, which explored low-income drudgery in an Ohio doll factory, The Girlfriend Experience is a cinematic ethnography exploring the ways the commodification of American life affects the people who live it.

Soderbergh has said that he cast Grey for her comfort and confidence in sexual situations, and she’s clearly in her element, although the film contains no explicit sex and almost no nudity. In fact, most of the needy men Chelsea dates seem more interested in talking than sex. “Thanks for listening,” one says. “I’ve been in so many relationships where people didn’t listen.” But while she puts on an attentive, slightly vacuous expression as her johns chatter about their families and finances, her character is more interested in the Michael Kors dresses and Kiki de Montparnasse lingerie she wears to her dates, and her next move after leaving the escort business. In these regards, Grey says she’s nothing like her character, even if she brought many of her own experiences to the part (including a scene where she stonewalls a journalist). “That girl is completely vain. She’s always looking for a bigger mirror. I’m not sitting here thinking of what I’m going to do when I get old and can’t have sex on camera anymore. That’s a very bitter way of thinking, in my opinion.”

Indeed, Grey has been unwavering about her commitment to the art of having sex on camera since bursting on the scene at 18 to a wave of salacious press, which included a public scolding by Tyra Banks (“That was a calculated move—it was free publicity,” she says). Tommy Pallotta, a producer who is finishing a documentary about Grey’s life between the ages of 18 and 21, has been watching the whole way. “One of the most interesting things about her is that there hasn’t been this great character arc,” he says. “She’s done everything she said she was going to do. There hasn’t been a great epiphany.”

What she says she wants to do now is raise the bar for pornography. “I think it’s too easy to just show up and fuck,” she says. “I want to see people try a little harder. For me, these past few years have been about changing things as a performer and challenging the people I’m having sex with.” She also wants to promote the idea that a female porn star can be empowered, however oxymoronic that might sound. “Some people believe in God and the devil and some people do not believe in anything,” she says. “Some people like porn and sex, and other people believe in monogamy. What one person sees as degrading and disgusting and bad for women might make some women feel empowered and beautiful and strong.” Pallotta admits to feeling “protective” of Grey, but acknowledges that she operates like a woman in control. “I started out thinking she was a naive 18-year-old and people would push her in different directions, but there’s no indication of anybody doing that,” he says. “I feel like people move in her orbit.”

Grey also wants to direct. Of course many young stars do, whether they’re in Hollywood or the Valley, but it’s hard to doubt her, considering how fiercely she has pursued her ambitions. She thinks porn should be more like Godard—yes, that’s right, the French New Wave director. “Godard always made it obvious that you’re watching a film,” she explains. “He didn’t try to trick you into thinking it was really happening. I want to see a fantasy.”

Directing would add just one more element into a rapidly growing personal brand portfolio. “Diversification is the most important thing for me right now,” she says. She sees herself not only as a porn star, but as a multiplatform artist—one who also has an industrial music project and a graphic novel and a photography book on the way. “A lot of people don’t want an intellectual porn star,” she says. “They don’t want a porn star to be a performance artist or a musician or a photographer. They just want the clichéd idea of porn star. I don’t think you should be in this business if you think that way. The adult industry is changing, and people are going to have to be progressive—and if they’re not, they’re going to fail.”


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[20 May 2009|09:43pm]
I can't tell if I'm making things up or if you really don't like me.

[13 May 2009|09:43pm]
igetc certification
graduation
i don't know
i have nothing else to do
but i don't know if i'm leaving this place soon.

dedicated to [info]theincomplete [30 Apr 2009|11:32pm]

okay i want the material of those shorts so like regular shorts but i want to alter it so it isn't so baddy and low.

also i was gonna buy latex leggins from somewhere. i didn't even know it was possible to make them.

and when i say i will make those shorts i mean take it to a tailor basically. tell me what to do!
6 comments|post comment

JAM OF THE MOMENT [28 Apr 2009|06:53pm]
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dedicated to [info]shrewtee [27 Apr 2009|07:38pm]

i love the fact that his shoes are dirty and scuffed. he's so normal omg.

also i think i hit rock bottom when my style icon is zac efron. just kidding he's been it for a while i just didn't tell anyone :X those high top shoes i used to rock senior year? all because of this:

yup.
3 comments|post comment

I BOUGHT A PAID ACCOUNT [26 Apr 2009|11:13pm]
AFTER BEING ON LJ FOR LIKE 6 YEARS.
Poll #1390545
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

WILL I REGRET IT

View Answers

YES
3 (25.0%)

NO
9 (75.0%)



i just wanted room for more icons negl.
13 comments|post comment

ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A [17 Apr 2009|12:42am]


CIRCUS TOUR 2009 )


I was so happy to go. The whole show was really quick but the energy from the crowd was still around an 8 or maybe 7. A lot of sitting and eating going on which I thought was weird. But, I'm glad Britney is back. I think she has truley earned the title "Queen Of Pop" because she is so versatile. She's done r&b with pharell, country with "Not Yet A Woman," and bubble pop when she first came out. She's been able to change herself constantly and remain the epitome of what pop of the moment is. I don't think she has an amazing voice or notable dancing, but she is the personification of what pop music is.
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[29 Mar 2009|03:23am]
the year 2009 and you're telling me a black person still can't get a cab? granted it is los angeles and cabs are scarce here, but srsly?

i'm so mad i don't even know if i can write about it, but i'll try.

my friends and i decided to go to the beach. 2 white females, and me, black male. we decide that after we want to get taco bell so we do. this group of black teens, i feel like they may have been slightly younger than me idk, come. they're talking about going home and trying to get a cab. they're destination is about 10 mins away driving, maybe 15. they called multiple cabs, none of them came through. they tried to stop cabs, NONE OF THEM WOULD PULL OVER FOR THEM. my friends and i were like "wtf." my friend asked if she should help, because she realizes as a white female she would be able to help them get a cab. i told her she should, but she was hesitant because she thought it would be condescending. well eventually she did help them. she was able to get 2 cabs, but when they saw the group of black people they both left. and one point one of the dudes was in the middle of the street while the cab just swerved around him. i decided that we should go, but then we all came to the decision that we should go back and see if i could take them myself. now it was a big group of people. about 4 in my trunk, i drive a truck, 3 in my backseat, and one in the front. also, jessica and alex were in the car as well. i drove them to their destination and they wanted to pay me but fuck that. i'm not no taxi driver especially after what i saw tonight, and as a black person i have an obligation to help other black folk as best as i can, idgaf. we went our seperate ways and my friends and i thought about how normal and chill the group of people were. they laughed it off and brushed it off. like it's a normal occurence, and it sadly is. it just made us go "wtf."

i can't wait till someone tells me their no such thing as racism in the u.s. anymore cause we now have a black president.

AND BTW, i have the best friends in the world.

ok i'm so convinced this is a gospel song [22 Feb 2009|11:00pm]
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You Gotta Keep Your Head Up. [21 Feb 2009|12:01am]

Little somethin for my godson Elijah and a little girl named Kerim

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots
I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, if don't nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him
And I ain't tryin to gas ya up, I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what's that)
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier
ooooo child things are
get brighter

Aiyyo, I remember Marvin Gaye, used to sing ta me
He had me feelin like black was tha thing to be
And suddenly tha ghetto didn't seem so tough
And though we had it rough, we always had enough
I huffed and puffed about my curfew and broke the rules
Ran with the local crew, and had a smoke or two
And I realize momma really paid the price
She nearly gave her life, to raise me right
And all I had ta give her was my pipe dream
Of how I'd rock the mic, and make it to tha bright screen
I'm tryin to make a dollar out of fifteen cents
It's hard to be legit and still pay tha rent
And in the end it seems I'm headin for tha pen
I try and find my friends, but they're blowin in the wind
Last night my buddy lost his whole family
It's gonna take the man in me to conquer this insanity
It seems tha rain'll never let up
I try to keep my head up, and still keep from gettin wet up
You know it's funny when it rains it pours
They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor
Say there ain't no hope for the youth and the truth is
it ain't no hope for tha future
And then they wonder why we crazy
I blame my mother, for turning my brother into a crack baby
We ain't meant to survive, cause it's a setup
And even though you're fed up
Huh, ya got to keep your head up

And uhh
To all the ladies havin babies on they own
I know it's kinda rough and you're feelin all alone
Daddy's long gone and he left you by ya lonesome
Thank the Lord for my kids, even if nobody else want em
Cause I think we can make it, in fact, I'm sure
And if you fall, stand tall and comeback for more
Cause ain't nuttin worse than when your son
wants to kno why his daddy don't love him no mo'
You can't complain you was dealt this
hell of a hand without a man, feelin helpless
Because there's too many things for you to deal with
Dying inside, but outside you're looking fearless
While da tears, is rollin down your cheeks
Ya steady hopin things don't fall down this week
Cause if it did, you couldn't take it, and don't blame me
I was given this world I didn't make it
And now my son's getten older and older and cold
From havin the world on his shoulders
While the rich kids is drivin Benz
I'm still tryin to hold on to my survivin friends
And it's crazy, it seems it'll never let up, but
please... you got to keep your head up

MSTRKRFT feat Lil Mo? [15 Feb 2009|08:57pm]


2001:


This collaboration represents a lot to me. We'll MSTRKRFTS whole tracklisting for Fist of Go made me think it was an R&B album rather than anything else, which is why I love this album even more. I feel like there's more and more cross cultural collaborations in everything and I am in full support of it.
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GOD I'M EXHAUSTED [12 Feb 2009|09:56pm]

I've been meaning to update... [10 Feb 2009|09:14pm]
[ music | Halo - Beyonce (lol melloy) ]

but my life sounds so sad as of right now lol.

So I got into a car crash on January the 29th. It wasn't my fault, I was rear-ended. I've been having to go to the chiropractor. Today I found out I have a birth defect in my spine. Lol go figure. My car is officially "totaled" so I should be getting around $2000 to $3000 just from the car alone. My parents and I don't know if I will be getting a new car.

School is... well, school. I took winter session but I can't see my grades because I didn't pay for 1 class in the fall, my winter session, or this current session. Plus my books cost a fortune. As of right now I am taking:
Econ; Macro
Poli Sci; 1
Accounting; 1
Sociology; 3 I think
Anthro; 111
I also had French 8; conversational french that I went to today. Omg I was so lost I have to drop it lol. This girl i knew who took French 2 with me was in it too but even she was lost. Which reminds me, I've been feeling somewhat sad at school cause I haven't seen anyone to say hi to these past 2 days. Last year I used to see everyone.

This weekend I have to apply for CSUN. They moved the deadline up and I hope I'm ready to transfer.

I basically have no money. Well, no income. Work is difficult but I barely work anyway. Being a tax preparer is teaching me a lot though I have to admit.

I hate not doing anything but I hate doing everything. I don't know... I hope I'm just ready for what's to come.

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dear boy i did taxes for today [02 Feb 2009|09:16pm]
thank you for being so patient. you probably didn't even notice it. it was really helpful. today was my first day doing a real persons return and unfortunately it was yours. i'm sorry i fucked up the first time and made you come back. you're probably cursing my name right now and hell i would be there with you. i hate this taxes thing and hopefully i'll learn how to deal with it. believe me my manager is checking it right now and she'll get any mistake i didn't.

so sorry,
me.

[29 Jan 2009|12:03pm]
somebody rear ended me today. it was beyond scary. the back of my car is so messed up. it just keeps coming...

Slow Angel [28 Jan 2009|11:52pm]

Our eyes connected
Now nothing's how it used to be
No second guesses


Track in on this feeling
Pull focus close up you and me
Nobody's leaving


Got me affected
Spun me 180 degrees
It's so electric


Slow down and dance with me
Yeah, slow

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