| Why Yesterday Was Amazing In More Ways Than One |
[05 Nov 2009|08:19pm] |
Before I begin, my laptop is down. If you've written me comments or messages and I haven't gotten back to you that's probably the reason why. I try to do as best I can with just my phone. Right now I'm on my mom's computer. Ugh...
So... It all began when I read ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ehs_wildcats post on Zac saying he was going to a party in L.A. yesterday. Well I didn't think a lot of it, a lot of things happen in L.A. that I can't go to. Well anyway fast forward to about 5 P.M. and I made a tweet saying I was really bored and I wish I knew exactly where the party was so that I could at least stand outside. Well, shrewtee messaged me exactly where it was at thanks to the infamous Cory Kennedy and she also sent me the RSVP thing. I signed up and I was determined to go.
So I'm getting ready and I notice it doesn't say it starts until 10. So I wait. Honestly this is when I thought it wasn't going to happen. I talk myself out of a lot of things and I get tired really quick. I even tried to take a nap before. But this is exactly where the problem lies, I'm such a boring person and I really need to get out more. My 20th birthday is in a month and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Even more, I live in L.A., well the Valley but I mean it's literally just a matter of technicalities, and I feel I don't take full adavantage of it. It's a Wenesday night and I need to get out! So I did, and Zac Efron was the means to do so.
My first friend wasn't able to make it so I asked my bffae Nicole to come with me. We're practically related, my first memories include her. I pick her up and we take Laurel Canyon down. Another reason why this night was perfect - it was on Coldwater Canyon and Sunset Blvd. That's pretty much where L.A. starts and as a result the closest place to me they could have picked. I found parking like a block away. A block away! On Sunset! I mean I was ready to park at my girl's Jessica's house who lives on Melrose.
( Read more... )
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[12 Oct 2009|12:27am] |
Poll #1469720
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13after i get my bachelors degree should i
my mom thinks i should go to paris because i know french and experience life in europe. my original plan was to stay here and work while i was getting my masters. my problem is that her idea sounds so fun. i would love to move to europe at 21! i feel like if i do it at 26, if i'm lucky to finish then, i would be so old. i've seen the statistics of how much people with masters degrees earn compared to those without and even though it's no gaurantee at least it leaves out the "what-if's." i just don't want to be left behind.
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[22 Sep 2009|09:08pm] |
I've been wanting to write a lot. And there's a lot I want to write about. However, my laziness and not knowing where to begin has got the best of me. Right now I'm doing a lot of self evaluation and relaxing a little bit on some of the sites I frequent. I'm not a fan of how some people percieve me and since I cannot pinpoint if it's my fault or their's, I'll just law low until I know what my next step should be.
In the mean time, I want to say that school is school. But interestingly enough this is the first year I've had to deal with being so, well, broke. I've never been so poor in my life. I miss having a job and realize what a mistake it was to do what I did 2 years ago but if I knew how the economy would be 2 years ago of course my actions would have changed. But I guess grass is always greener on the other side.
My parents want to move to Texas, which means I will be in California, or the valley at least, by myself. It's a scary thing to think off. Of course I want to get out of this house but not on these terms. I want to feel safe in my emancipation not feel forced to do so.
I can't wait till I graduate. Seriously. I can't wait to get this Bachelors Degree and have a real job with a real career path. I know it's not the journey, it's the destination. But damn this journey fucking sucks. I like my classes, wierdly enough, I just hate barely having enough money to buy books, supplies, and a parking pass. The whole idea is foriegn to me because up until this point I have been so safe financially. Not just my parents but I saved up money myself. A lot of money. Which is all gone. Not because I spent it incredibly frivously either. But because somethings needed to be handeled.
My social life is on pause as well because gas money is hard to get. I've been asking my friends for rides and gas money when I take them places but so far only 1 person has complied with that.
Fashion is a whole nother subject. I had made this whole post on the September issues and how women of color, black women especially, were few and hard to come by; and even when they were seen their depictions were often soaking in stereotypical nonsense. But I didn't go any further with that post when I saw i-D. I guess it was the fact that 4 black women shared a cover together, for the "January in fashion" month, so I didn't really see the point. Maybe I'll still post it though.
Fashion week has been going strong so far and I must say I'm really impressed with London. I've seen a lot of collections I really like. Hopefully I'll post everything after Paris ends. As far as models go I've been very impressed with Tao Okamoto and Jeniel Williams. At first I didn't like Tao, but as soon as NYFW rolled around I was very impressed by her. Maybe it's the hair but her look is so rebellious to me. She always looks bored in everything she does but it doesn't come with a tone of pompousness but rather ease and I like that a lot.
Recently I downloaded LMFAO, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Kid Cudi's album. I actually enjoyed them all except the Tay Swift one. I'm just not that romantic girl, sorry.
As for the Kanye fiasco at the VMA's I know you're probably tired off hearing about it and so am I. But as a Kanye fan I really do wonder about him. Sure Kanye does act foolish a lot and I never said he was the most eloquent man in history. I knew of his foolishness but still loved him for it. But this was just a little too much for me. It was the fact that he felt no restrictions. I don't know if I can handle Kanye like that.
Well this post wasn't supposed to be this long. It was just supposed to be the video and the first paragraph but I just couldn't stop writing. We'll see if this will continue on a regular basis. Doubt it.
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[16 Aug 2009|11:44pm] |
i hate them for not inviting me to be part of there group i mean really i could have added some of my own ~flare~
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[23 Jul 2009|06:06pm] |
i just realized i misused grammer in this icon. (wait that's gramatically correct right?) and it makes it that much better.
if you're wondering how i ever got into college/graduated elementary school i just want to say i ask the same question everyday.
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| Better Late Than Never... |
[03 Jul 2009|01:22pm] |
So I'm sitting here watching Run's House on MTV. This is the first time I've watched MTV in about a week, and I remembered why. MTV plays a memorial commercial about Micheal and they used one of my all time favorite songs by him. All the sudden it hit me, he's gone. Like as far as I'm concerned Micheal has been gone for a while, but physically, he's really not here anymore. Listening to this song makes my eyes watery. So unexpected but better late than never?
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| OMG I HAVE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD |
[28 May 2009|12:12pm] |
i got in another car accident again. this time i was at fault, in my moms car. i was so scared but when i got in the house i told my mom what happened and she didn't even flinch. i told her that her car was ok and the other persons was to and she was like "ok." now i have to wait till my dad gets home.
to be continued...
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| WOW |
[23 May 2009|11:03pm] |
   
Corset Alexander McQueen Briefs A.F. Vandevorst. On skin, Embryolisse Vitamin Moisturizer
“It is difficult to describe how it feels to gaze at living human beings whom you’ve seen perform in hard-core porn,” wrote the late David Foster Wallace in a 1998 essay about the Adult Video News Awards, informally known as the Oscars of porn. It’s also difficult to describe what it’s like to hear a voice on the telephone which you’ve previously heard making such statements as “I’m a dirty whore” (and worse)—and moreover, to have a pleasant, courteous conversation with that voice. The voice’s owner is Sasha Grey, 21, who has taken the adult industry by storm since her debut three years ago, last year becoming the youngest person to win an Adult Video News award for best female performer of the year. To be clear, she’s a hard-core porn star, performing not only straightforward Jenna Jameson–style scenes, but also considerably more exotic ones, often treating sex as a multiplayer sport. “For me, the more romantic-type scenes are the most challenging,” she says, “because that’s not necessarily the sex that I enjoy the most.” She doesn’t hold anything back. Grey has also cultivated a reputation as an intellectual porn star, citing Nietzsche, Baudrillard, and Situationism as influences and speaking at colleges like Brandeis and UCLA. That reputation won’t change any with her latest project. She stars in Steven Soderbergh’s new low-budget HD film, The Girlfriend Experience, the spiritual successor to 2005’s Bubble. “I’m a huge fan of his, and I was a fan of Bubble,” she says. “I don’t know what he could have said that would have made me say no.” This isn’t Jameson popping up in Howard Stern’s Private Parts; it’s the lead part in a stylishly executed, structurally ambitious, improv-based film from an Oscar-winning director. Set against the backdrop of the economic crisis, the film follows Chelsea, a high-priced Manhattan call girl, who is pondering ways to “grow her business” while her wealthy clients discuss the economic stimulus package and how to “stimulate their packages.” Like Bubble, which explored low-income drudgery in an Ohio doll factory, The Girlfriend Experience is a cinematic ethnography exploring the ways the commodification of American life affects the people who live it. Soderbergh has said that he cast Grey for her comfort and confidence in sexual situations, and she’s clearly in her element, although the film contains no explicit sex and almost no nudity. In fact, most of the needy men Chelsea dates seem more interested in talking than sex. “Thanks for listening,” one says. “I’ve been in so many relationships where people didn’t listen.” But while she puts on an attentive, slightly vacuous expression as her johns chatter about their families and finances, her character is more interested in the Michael Kors dresses and Kiki de Montparnasse lingerie she wears to her dates, and her next move after leaving the escort business. In these regards, Grey says she’s nothing like her character, even if she brought many of her own experiences to the part (including a scene where she stonewalls a journalist). “That girl is completely vain. She’s always looking for a bigger mirror. I’m not sitting here thinking of what I’m going to do when I get old and can’t have sex on camera anymore. That’s a very bitter way of thinking, in my opinion.” Indeed, Grey has been unwavering about her commitment to the art of having sex on camera since bursting on the scene at 18 to a wave of salacious press, which included a public scolding by Tyra Banks (“That was a calculated move—it was free publicity,” she says). Tommy Pallotta, a producer who is finishing a documentary about Grey’s life between the ages of 18 and 21, has been watching the whole way. “One of the most interesting things about her is that there hasn’t been this great character arc,” he says. “She’s done everything she said she was going to do. There hasn’t been a great epiphany.” What she says she wants to do now is raise the bar for pornography. “I think it’s too easy to just show up and fuck,” she says. “I want to see people try a little harder. For me, these past few years have been about changing things as a performer and challenging the people I’m having sex with.” She also wants to promote the idea that a female porn star can be empowered, however oxymoronic that might sound. “Some people believe in God and the devil and some people do not believe in anything,” she says. “Some people like porn and sex, and other people believe in monogamy. What one person sees as degrading and disgusting and bad for women might make some women feel empowered and beautiful and strong.” Pallotta admits to feeling “protective” of Grey, but acknowledges that she operates like a woman in control. “I started out thinking she was a naive 18-year-old and people would push her in different directions, but there’s no indication of anybody doing that,” he says. “I feel like people move in her orbit.” Grey also wants to direct. Of course many young stars do, whether they’re in Hollywood or the Valley, but it’s hard to doubt her, considering how fiercely she has pursued her ambitions. She thinks porn should be more like Godard—yes, that’s right, the French New Wave director. “Godard always made it obvious that you’re watching a film,” she explains. “He didn’t try to trick you into thinking it was really happening. I want to see a fantasy.” Directing would add just one more element into a rapidly growing personal brand portfolio. “Diversification is the most important thing for me right now,” she says. She sees herself not only as a porn star, but as a multiplatform artist—one who also has an industrial music project and a graphic novel and a photography book on the way. “A lot of people don’t want an intellectual porn star,” she says. “They don’t want a porn star to be a performance artist or a musician or a photographer. They just want the clichéd idea of porn star. I don’t think you should be in this business if you think that way. The adult industry is changing, and people are going to have to be progressive—and if they’re not, they’re going to fail.”
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[20 May 2009|09:43pm] |
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I can't tell if I'm making things up or if you really don't like me.
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[13 May 2009|09:43pm] |
igetc certification
graduation
i don't know
i have nothing else to do
but i don't know if i'm leaving this place soon.
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| dedicated to theincomplete |
[30 Apr 2009|11:32pm] |
okay i want the material of those shorts so like regular shorts but i want to alter it so it isn't so baddy and low.
also i was gonna buy latex leggins from somewhere. i didn't even know it was possible to make them.
and when i say i will make those shorts i mean take it to a tailor basically. tell me what to do!
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| dedicated to shrewtee |
[27 Apr 2009|07:38pm] |
i love the fact that his shoes are dirty and scuffed. he's so normal omg.
also i think i hit rock bottom when my style icon is zac efron. just kidding he's been it for a while i just didn't tell anyone :X those high top shoes i used to rock senior year? all because of this:
yup.
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| I BOUGHT A PAID ACCOUNT |
[26 Apr 2009|11:13pm] |
AFTER BEING ON LJ FOR LIKE 6 YEARS.
Poll #1390545
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14WILL I REGRET IT
i just wanted room for more icons negl.
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| ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A |
[17 Apr 2009|12:42am] |
( CIRCUS TOUR 2009 )
I was so happy to go. The whole show was really quick but the energy from the crowd was still around an 8 or maybe 7. A lot of sitting and eating going on which I thought was weird. But, I'm glad Britney is back. I think she has truley earned the title "Queen Of Pop" because she is so versatile. She's done r&b with pharell, country with "Not Yet A Woman," and bubble pop when she first came out. She's been able to change herself constantly and remain the epitome of what pop of the moment is. I don't think she has an amazing voice or notable dancing, but she is the personification of what pop music is.
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[29 Mar 2009|03:23am] |
the year 2009 and you're telling me a black person still can't get a cab? granted it is los angeles and cabs are scarce here, but srsly?
i'm so mad i don't even know if i can write about it, but i'll try.
my friends and i decided to go to the beach. 2 white females, and me, black male. we decide that after we want to get taco bell so we do. this group of black teens, i feel like they may have been slightly younger than me idk, come. they're talking about going home and trying to get a cab. they're destination is about 10 mins away driving, maybe 15. they called multiple cabs, none of them came through. they tried to stop cabs, NONE OF THEM WOULD PULL OVER FOR THEM. my friends and i were like "wtf." my friend asked if she should help, because she realizes as a white female she would be able to help them get a cab. i told her she should, but she was hesitant because she thought it would be condescending. well eventually she did help them. she was able to get 2 cabs, but when they saw the group of black people they both left. and one point one of the dudes was in the middle of the street while the cab just swerved around him. i decided that we should go, but then we all came to the decision that we should go back and see if i could take them myself. now it was a big group of people. about 4 in my trunk, i drive a truck, 3 in my backseat, and one in the front. also, jessica and alex were in the car as well. i drove them to their destination and they wanted to pay me but fuck that. i'm not no taxi driver especially after what i saw tonight, and as a black person i have an obligation to help other black folk as best as i can, idgaf. we went our seperate ways and my friends and i thought about how normal and chill the group of people were. they laughed it off and brushed it off. like it's a normal occurence, and it sadly is. it just made us go "wtf."
i can't wait till someone tells me their no such thing as racism in the u.s. anymore cause we now have a black president.
AND BTW, i have the best friends in the world.
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